is it that hard?

damn it. is it that hard? i've been thinking about something that happened recently. does anybody know what a present really mean? a present means that, no matter where the person where, he thought of you, and therefore bought you a present; cause you were present in his mind. wouldn't you accept a present a friend brings you from another country, no matter how big or small, shiny or dull is? do you know how fucked up is when you buy something for someone and that person declines it? "i don't want it." i'll be honest, my friend... that brought my whole world down that day in such an easy way; made me feel like shit. i mean, it's ok to understand that a person doesn't like presents, but to coldly tell you that she doesn't want it? call me nitpicker, but that's fucked up. that's been chewing me up inside for a while. i was trying to let it go, but i couldn't.

another thing. you have this friend of yours [a very good friend] and he's been out of the country for 28 days, but you perfectly knows that he arrives today. what's the first thing you do? exactly. it's obvious. i was pretty amazed when i received lots of calls, even overseas, but none of them was from my "friend." wow. thank you, i had a very good flight anyways. but you know what? w/e. i don't feel like talking about it anymore. not right now.

in a last note, i want to let you know that if you wanted to push me away, hah, you did it pretty well. i have to say that it was the wrong way 'cause i was expecting something more mature; i mean, almost 20 years old... i think i'm wayyy past the "i won't talk to him and he'll get the picture" shit. i believe i'm strong enough to take that shot. i was expecting a face to face conversation, like normal and grown up adults that we are, but who cares; it worked out pretty good for you, didn't it? but i think you pushed me too far away, 'cause despite everything, i'm your friend. but it's all good, my friend. it's all good.

p.s.: how convenient. i was just listening to 'Never Gonna Be Alone,' by Nickelback from their last album, 'Dark Horse,' which i have to add up that it's very good. listen to it. seriously. take a peak.